They lost to the Skins after getting outsmarted by Jay Gruden, which is like when I lose an argument with one of my children.
They got shut out by the Colts. Their quarterback got sacked by his own lineman. Their salary cap was a cemetery. They went headhunting. Getting run over by C. Anderson and Todd Gurley to close out the season was just the kind of frontier justice I crave for these showy asshats.
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That chesty ignorance is their brand personality. They LIKE being this stupid. As such, the Cowboys are still considered a showcase NFL franchise despite having had as much success as the Skins and Bills over the last two decades. I see nothing in the Cowboys. He never manages the clock correctly.
He apparently thinks a punt is the ballsiest play you can run in enemy territory. He is Jim Tomsula in boat shoes. I just come to work every day and try to do the best job that I can do in the position that I have.
God forbid these people ever show a trace of vulnerability. He might be right on that last point. Garrett would have to hijack a blimp to get fired at this point.
Why Your Team Sucks Dallas Cowboys
Your new offensive coordinator is Kellen Moore, who looks like he lures campers to a shed to murder them:. High percentage passes! Few touchdowns! Runs for 10 yards on third-and! Your backup remains Cooper Rush, who has the most Dallas name balls the team now that Cole Beasley has fucked off to Buffalo. Witten is just gonna keep playing football cowboys his brain is made of coffee pudding.
He has not had a 1,yard season since Witten is the Rafael Palmeiro of tight ends. David Irving, who is the Josh Gordon of pass rushers, retired to smoke weed I approve. The good news is that Sean Lee is still here, at least until he accidentally dislocates his tongue in Week 3. Okay, well now I know why Jason Suck has stayed employed here so long. That is because…. But you already knew all that shit.
Jerry will extend anyone he likes girls he believes, deep in his Johnnie Walker-drenched soul, that if bbw manipur nakat photo likes you, that will MAKE you great.
After all, it worked with Barry Switzer, did it not? That title was all Jerry needed to cement the fervent belief that he has The Touch, both metaphorically AND at the strip club. He believes his kinda guys are the BEST guys.
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Jerry is just like every other rich asshole owner who prizes belonging more than actually winning, who believes that who you know justifies what girls do, and who thinks projecting an aura of excellence creates excellence.
These guys are all just clinking whiskey tumblers and cackling their way to the grave while improving the lives of exactly no one around them. The Cowboys are essentially flexible girls gets fuck by son Stephen Jones, suck looks like a Congressman that got caught fucking a dog. And so are the fans of this team. No, really. I look at the Cowboys and I realize that America is a lost cause. Ezekiel Elliott has had more league investigations than the Cowboys have playoff appearances.
Watch him hand-deliver an apple up to the SNF booth balls Cris every other week as this jerky-brained team goes for the next 10 years. Now we just gotta convince Romo to come back. At cowboys he sometimes paid his half of the bills. Kellen Moore will be yelled at on Monday morning for not calling more 4-yard out routes to Witten on 3rd-and Marvin Martian thinks the Boys have a real chance this year!
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